Why My Life Is Also In Danger

Just sat quietly in the matatu. Chatting with one or two friends on the phone about life, weather, food and maybe job. But you just sat there next to me eyes wide open and reading each and every word I type.
Why don't you just let my life flow? Why are you so much into making my matatu life so tough? I'm a little scared. My chatting life is in danger. But it doesn’t harm giving you the Snooping Award of the Year.

So I gave you Sh200 to find something to eat when you were last starving and dreaming about water. You promised to pay back at the end of the month. It's been eight months now and you have never bothered to pay back.
The way you look at me every time I approach you, either to greet you or to ask for the money, makes me feel like an endangered species.

My pocket may not be in the dry category but why do you want to put it in danger of wobbling towards there?
It's just friendship. Maybe a little love. Maybe a little lust (though this is sinful) but you don't think so. It is like I'm your Central Bank; the maker of your money, the buyer of everything but not the owner of your heart.
My pocket is surely in danger of emaciation.

Social media are good platforms for all of us to share what we are eating, where we are visiting, where our hearts are anchored in and of course who broke it. Okey, but why are you stuffing us with such stuff? Why are you putting our lives in danger of suffocation?
Just tell us a little. Don't tell us everything.

I'm safe.

This Is Why You Were Called Thieves by the President, Himself

You checked in your workplace at 8.03am, yet the reporting time is at 8.00am. You stole your employer's time.

In the evening you chucked office at 4.57pm yet leaving time is 5.00pm.
Ain't you stealing your employer's time again?

You went to your local restaurant and ordered for ugali and some stew. After clearing the slice of ugali you demanded ’sosa’ saying you won't pay unless you get it. Stealing from restaurant owners? Yes because you paid less for more. 

You promised to meet your best friend for an after-work chat at some Nairobi's downtown hotel at exactly 6.05pm on a Thursday but you arrived 10 minutes late. If you did not steal their precious time then you don't know what theft is.

That careless conductor forgot to collect your fare but you giggled and tapped away the sign of the cross instead of reminding him that he hadn't picked his money. You are not in the NYS scandal list but you could surely be heading there. 

Instead of Mama Mboga giving you a change of Sh190 after buying Sh10-worth of sukuma she gives you Sh490. You majestically walk away thanking the heavens for 'mining' Sh300 out of her pocket. Certainly, the Heavens are seeing you and you will pay for theft when the catalogue of sins are read to you when you check out of this world.

You were asked by your employer to go for an outfield trip but you returned with exaggerated bills with the sole intention of robbing your employer. Those fake taxi, hotel receipts with forged signatures? Isn't that robbery without violence?

On Facebook and Twitter you were quite vibrant and joyous about voting for Peter Kenneth and Martha Karua in the last elections. They spent hours responding to your thumps-up messages but come voting day who did you vote for? Come on that is thievery of the highest order. You deserve some jail term for stealing someone’s political time. 

Now you know why the President called you thieves.