Whose Sycophant are You?

If there’s another more fertile ground for the growth of sycophancy and its children across the globe than Kenya, then that place must be really inhaling and exhaling sycophants instead of oxygen. You know Kenya, in addition to its wealth of long-distance runners, the country also floats in another kind of richness; career-sycophants.

And this lot is not the kind which burns calories chasing another athlete, their calories are burnt up within their jaws by their ever vibrating tongue. This organ empties tanks of energy flattering the he/she who places a meal on their tables. And it does it perfectly to the extent even in the august house like a national parliament, it’s so spirited it refuses to hear what the mind sayeth to it to say.

When the meal-giver is accused of wrong-doing this lot rises up in lethal arms daring the accusers to go ahead with their dirt-smearing and face dire consequences. When they are seemingly defeated or headed for a fix, they boast and unashamedly say “I’m a sycophant and I have no apologies to make.” It’s understandable. Sycophants, which are self-seeking, servile flatterers; fawning parasites according to the dictionary, always mute their minds and increase their mouths’ volume. Take for example, Ms Millie Odhiambo, the nominated MP. Yesterday, she was sycophanting with fervour when good MPs were trying to weed out nonsense threatening to steal sense from a vital debate surrounding the Kazi Kwa Vijana programme. The Prime Minister, Raila Odinga did well to counter falsehoods with facts and excellently keep off a scandal that was closely hovering over his head. That’s what gentlemen do.

However, the day’s sycophants, including the self-confessed one in Millie-by the way did she have to declare it publicly? Thought Kenyans already knew whose sycophant she’s-almost ruined that excellence by the PM. They did not succeed though and sobriety carried the day, as it should always.

From that brilliant moment when Youth and Sports assistant minister, Kabando wa Kabando, hit the screw on the head about parliamentary sycophants-they were already on their feet then, he said-to the dark moment when Millie accepted the screw, there came a grotesque picture about Kenyans and how sycophantic they could get. It’s undoubted that most are enslaved in their minds by those above them and factually those they see as their kings and queens. Remember one top minister who said her nudity was going public if Uhuru Kenyatta was to be kept in jail at The Hague? You remember? What of those disoriented fellas who literally murdered the national anthem when they tried singing it in a foreign land? You know them? Those too who regurgitated it (sycophancy) in parliament yesterday. 

And many others. 

So who’s that person you are so sycophantic about? Or rather, who’s that person who robbed you of your mind and now you can’t think you talk, you only talk about them. You dream about them. You worship them. They are your lifeline, without them you are dead. On top you never see any bad in them. Who’s him or her? Tell us.