There’s Nothing like Obama, Odinga, Ocampo

Before we let the fingers dance on the keyboard, it’s vital to note that these personalities are not related neither do they come from the Lakeside. When sober, they may be forced to relate (by some) because of the similarity of their initial letters ‘O’ in their surnames.

So those politicians arguing that there’s a relationship, albeit, hidden (otherwise all would have seen such a camaraderie), are not only telling us untruths but are also lying to their should-be-clear-conscience. If they insist on such a relationship, then their middle names should be decorated with such words as Ignorance, Ignoramus, or, dis-Ingenuous and such, etc, etc.

Obama, as you read this, is the most powerful president in the world. Being the only man who sits in the White House and cram that only password that is waiting to set off nuclear bombs and being the head of the world’s super power (though it’s ebbing as China takes over) we can only say he's of his own and anyone trying to associate him with other individuals is dishonouring that powerful seat. Let's just say he has no time to lower his character to a level where he’s compared to politicians and advocates from countries lying low in the Economy Index, please excuse him from this association!

Ocampo, and people should learn to respect this guy by calling him by his right name, Moreno-Ocampo, is a top prosecutor whose instincts point him to International War Crimes, crimes against humanity, Post Election Violence, Muammar Gaddafi, Rape, and man-made-tsunami-mass murders-he likes such tsunami-deaths and would not hesitate to come for them uninvited. He comes from Argentina, for starters.

Odinga is the enigmatic Kenyan politician whose only known relationship with Obama is that the latter’s father Barrack Obama Snr was a tribal brother to Odinga. Just that. But some idle fellow has advanced an understanding that by virtue of having such distant bonds, the two could be sharing something, politically. As with Ocampo, there’s nothing known between Odinga and him them unless when the former is saying “don’t be vague, it’s (The) Hague,” or vice versa. You can also say he knows him courtesy of Ocampo’s visit of our national parks last year and had to inform Raila of the nyef nyef (kind of monkeys) he had seen-maybe but such courtesy calls should rarely establish strong friendship, it’s hard.

Even though m-Ocampo and Raila talk like they are ‘eating’ their teeth, Obama pronounces words with comfort thus making them come out sweetly and enjoyable to listen. Moreover, the two (Oc..and Od..) normally let their words flow out of their mouths in speeds only described as high and hence raising their rival’s temperatures. When Raila for example, is busy using parables to kill off his or perceived opponents m-Ocampo is busy threatening that his cases about Kenya would make the world shake because he would deal with them without letting a speck disturb his wide open eyes. When these two are spewing out words, Obama, is juddering in his speech; he often thoughtfully let out words when speaking; a noticeable difference from the other two who often let their tongues flip uncontrollably.

This is how different these guys are!

The O.O.O got nothing that can make them work together politically. So unless it's a new coalition, it would be prudent to let the individuals live like that, individuals. 

Seven Questions for His Feared Moreno-Ocampo

After the International Criminal Court prosecutor released the names of Kenyans suspected to have played a part in the dreadful 2007/08 post election violence, the country receded to a terrifying silence characterised by low toned talks and euphoric media.

Amidst the unusual atmosphere, these questions made an abrupt stopover:

ü  1.When someone wakes up one day and brand another most responsible for what happened yesterday, then such questions as these arise: Most responsible according to who? And why should they be categorised as such? You know, Responsibility is ever relative. Therefore, The Hague Six, who have already been tagged key suspects, invite such doubts as who labelled them as such-an angel from Heaven? Or another man immersed in inadequacies and with natural prejudices? Emblazoning the individuals as ‘most’, ‘key’, ‘principal’ is prejudicial and would do much to incriminate the suspects before a ‘fair’ process takes its course.

ü  2. Six individuals telling Kenyans to fight? Give us a break, please. We are over 38 million, the last time I checked. So how can a mere six incite Kenyans, who are, mark you, very intelligent- talk of brilliant inventor Evans Wadongo, one of the ten heroes identified by CNN, late Barrack Obama Senior who bore President Obama, top model Ajuma, lightning runners- these are uncountable- Rudisha, Jelimo, Wanjiru and others, prolific billionaire bankers as Equity's James Mwangi, top writers in Ngugi Wa Thiong’o, superb lawyers in DPP’s Keriako Tobiko, among million bright Kenyans. So the named six warped the minds of all these well-educated people to fight or condone fighting?

ü  3.Moreno-Ocampo’s listed demands for suspects makes one wonder why such people are being treated like animals which don’t deserve any rights. I’ll just mention two which I strongly belief are draconian and go against the beliefs entrenched in the code of natural justice. One is this -Updating the ICC on their latest personal contacts and whereabouts and second is -restrictions not to make contact with other suspects in preparation of their defences. Tell me if these orders don’t belong to the Stone Age. What happened to the freedom of association and movement to the extent that some individuals tell others to tell them where they go every day? So if Brigadier Ali visits his grandmother for a cup of mursik, should he tell some prosecutor in The Hague? What of the right to privacy? Should they not be allowed the tiniest part of their privacy?

ü  4.By picking out few individuals to face the wrath on behalf of an evidential shambolic electoral system, the prosecutor offers a blind eye on the root cause of what really happened. The general feeling is that were it not for an adulterated election body Kenyans would not have faced any violence. Why has Moreno-Ocampo chosen to ignore this fact? Doing this not only negate efficiency of the ICC in solving the root-causes of global strife but also beef beliefs of hidden agenda behind his indictments.

ü  5.There’s a lot of ambiguity in Moreno-Ocampo’s charges. First he says he’s not after a group or mass of people but individuals. Right and that’s how criminal, and indeed all cases, are dealt with but why then charge someone of a case he has not, at least, directly  committed. For instance, the named Six will face “charges of murder, rape, deportation and others” which were certainly committed by others. Or will you want to say the Six were all over Kenya wielding their machetes and using them to taste the oesophagus of the recorded 1,300? And will you still say they ripped off the clothes of all the raped women. Surely, other people did this and someone else is facing the law on behalf of them. Why? And yet he had promised not to generalise his accusations.

ü  6..And the ever unresolved concern that the ICC is only interested in third world countries, especially in Africa. Who will ever settle these doubts? And why has Moreno-Ocampo not shown any interest in putting to rest these reservations by indicting someone from the G8 or better still G20?

ü  7.Who will be responsible if in any case violence erupts as a result of the naming of the suspects? Moreno-Ocampo, Philip Waki, or Koffi Annan?

 When these questions and many others get satisfactory responses then I would let my doubts aside, otherwise they will remain etched in my doubts gallery.

Just by the way...

I have no problem with criminals facing the full force of the law. But have a problem when such alleged criminals are inhumanely treated even before they are found guilty, or put through a process which has acted unfairly in the past.

Moreno-Ocampo Needs Maradona by His side

‘Ocampo will not be able to execute his responsibilities well if he comes hunting alone for those who are alleged (by who? I don’t know but I got to use this word, lest I cool my heels in some jail soon) to have perpetrated the 2008 violence.

Diego Armando Maradona should make a perfect companion for the now very lonely bearer of international justice.

The football great, who doubles as M’Ocampo’s countryman, will not only provide vigour to the rather soft-spoken prosecutor but will also give him a sense of belonging and renewed boldness. The Hague-man seriously needs such a man.

Considering that the rather interesting defender of the defenceless could be easily intimidated by ominously-behaved Kenyan politicians, Mara’s presence will boost More’s agility and stubbornness- the two indispensable qualities of a successful prosecutor.

You know Maradona has never shied from controversy, and politicians, however evil they may be, will not scare him, after all, they don’t raise blood pressure like cocaine.

Ocampo needs such characters who after sniffing pulse-rate enhancing ‘tablets’ looks straight into the bloody eyes of Perpetrator, hang his(sorry for gender biasness, but women perpetrators qualify as men, you know they got be that manly to perpetrate) belt  from behind alongside the body, slap the truth on their faces and spit fire like a possessed individual.

Maradona will do such without much fuss. Ask England of 1986 and their hands will probably become frail owing to the heaviness of the ‘Hand of God’. If England, a once feared super power, fell miserably to the less-ingenuous left-legged Argentine, who is plural Perpetrator to him? He’ll just smoke perpetration out of them and dribbles past similar hundreds lined up from the centre of Kenya, and whose main agenda is to block his course, to spectacularly score for Ocampo at The Hague. Perfect Maracampo’s combination, you agree.

Mara’ might struggle with the English language but will form another firm collabo with More’ who will excusably repay his dribbling skills by helping Mara’ sing well the ‘Hand of God’ hymn when a Perpetrator is finally sent to the guillotine. More’ may struggle to say ‘We’ll catch all the perpetrators after our investigations and put them in an express aeroplane to The Hague’ by rather saying ‘We’ll catch al te perptrators afterr our invetigachons and put tem in an epress eropline to Te Hague’. Even with this struggle, he’ll still be of great help to Mara’ who may be asked to set records about issues raised by a keen Perpetrator about his mass virtual murder of English men and women when he ‘illegally’ scored against them in 1986. 

Just by the way...

*“You’re fired”. The most hated words for employees. It should be. Because these dreaded words will make a guy confused, popeyed, agape, mouth open, nose-hair upright, leg hair bowed and eyelids grow. The phrase finally fell on the newest Kenyan-American hero, Liza Mucheru.