Twitter and Facebook Crazy Updates on Ocampo Six

Social networking sites went ballistic with crazy updates when the list of the suspects was made public by the ICC chief prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo. 

Twitter uploading with amazing speeds was observably in the lead over others like Facebook as its updates popped up fastest.

Among the updates though were creative enough, paradoxically brought forth humour instead of the expected sadness.

One which sought to borrow Hague as an acronym had this H for Henry Kosgei A for Arap Sang G for General Hussein Ali U for Uhuru Kenyatta E for Eldoret N MP Ruto. This was from an individual named, Crazy Nairobian.

Of the interesting updates this could easily qualify as the most humorous. it “To save Ruto sms 1 to 7777, to save Uhuru sms 2, to save Ali sms 3...!dead!” posted by one Evedesouza. The idea behind the update seemed to borrow from the annual reality show, Tusker Project Fame which normally asks viewers to send a unique number to save participants from eviction.

Another which might not be sweet to many hearts but still portrayed the creativeness of twitter users is “Overheard in the office. I feel sorry for Uhuru, his father was in the Kapenguria 6 and now he's in the Hague 6” retweeted a popular journalist. This co-relates Uhuru Kenyatta’s naming and subsequent appearance at The Hague with Jomo Kenyatta’s detention at the famous Kapenguria detention camps alongside six others by the British colonialists for their association with the dreaded Mau Mau organisation.

“Spotted on...Ati Hussein Ali was appointed Post Master General in a bid to intercept the Ocampo envelope,” was another one appearing on Twitter immediately former Police Commissioner and now Post Master General was mentioned by Moreno-Ocampo. This one humorously relates the appointment of Mr Ali to the Post Office job and the Waki list of the suspects.

A famous person going by the identity Diasporadical sought to make fun of William Ruto’s recent visit to The Hague by uploading this “Ruto is about to show the rest of these people the hot spots in The Hague”

With a perceived regional balancing in the names, one update from Funnytweets posed this question “Guys from Nyanza have been marginalised by Ocampo...sisi pia nataka mutu yetu huuko Hague (we want our guy there too), yawa!”

"The Joshua Sang dude is on the #Hague6 list to represent the local Mwananchi” quipped a Mwanikih in particular reference to a Joshua Arap Sang, one of the suspects, and whose mention came as surprise considering his low profile nationally.

Most of these updates were replicated on Facebook but not interestingly as on Twitter. Most  bordered on the six named by Ocampo few hours ago. They include, Uhuru Kenyatta (Finance), Henry Kosgey ( Industrialisation),  William Ruto (Suspended Higher Education), Head of Civil Service, Francis Muthaura, Post Master General Ali Hussein Ali, and media personality, Joshua Arap Sang. 

Just By the way...

*How comes neither of the suspects made to the Trending Topics or they feared Ocampo will nail them for perpetrating people to over-tweeting about them? 

Moreno-Ocampo Needs Maradona by His side

‘Ocampo will not be able to execute his responsibilities well if he comes hunting alone for those who are alleged (by who? I don’t know but I got to use this word, lest I cool my heels in some jail soon) to have perpetrated the 2008 violence.

Diego Armando Maradona should make a perfect companion for the now very lonely bearer of international justice.

The football great, who doubles as M’Ocampo’s countryman, will not only provide vigour to the rather soft-spoken prosecutor but will also give him a sense of belonging and renewed boldness. The Hague-man seriously needs such a man.

Considering that the rather interesting defender of the defenceless could be easily intimidated by ominously-behaved Kenyan politicians, Mara’s presence will boost More’s agility and stubbornness- the two indispensable qualities of a successful prosecutor.

You know Maradona has never shied from controversy, and politicians, however evil they may be, will not scare him, after all, they don’t raise blood pressure like cocaine.

Ocampo needs such characters who after sniffing pulse-rate enhancing ‘tablets’ looks straight into the bloody eyes of Perpetrator, hang his(sorry for gender biasness, but women perpetrators qualify as men, you know they got be that manly to perpetrate) belt  from behind alongside the body, slap the truth on their faces and spit fire like a possessed individual.

Maradona will do such without much fuss. Ask England of 1986 and their hands will probably become frail owing to the heaviness of the ‘Hand of God’. If England, a once feared super power, fell miserably to the less-ingenuous left-legged Argentine, who is plural Perpetrator to him? He’ll just smoke perpetration out of them and dribbles past similar hundreds lined up from the centre of Kenya, and whose main agenda is to block his course, to spectacularly score for Ocampo at The Hague. Perfect Maracampo’s combination, you agree.

Mara’ might struggle with the English language but will form another firm collabo with More’ who will excusably repay his dribbling skills by helping Mara’ sing well the ‘Hand of God’ hymn when a Perpetrator is finally sent to the guillotine. More’ may struggle to say ‘We’ll catch all the perpetrators after our investigations and put them in an express aeroplane to The Hague’ by rather saying ‘We’ll catch al te perptrators afterr our invetigachons and put tem in an epress eropline to Te Hague’. Even with this struggle, he’ll still be of great help to Mara’ who may be asked to set records about issues raised by a keen Perpetrator about his mass virtual murder of English men and women when he ‘illegally’ scored against them in 1986. 

Just by the way...

*“You’re fired”. The most hated words for employees. It should be. Because these dreaded words will make a guy confused, popeyed, agape, mouth open, nose-hair upright, leg hair bowed and eyelids grow. The phrase finally fell on the newest Kenyan-American hero, Liza Mucheru.