Coffins on the Streets of Nairobi; Coffin-ated Protests!

Forty-nine coffins were slowly carried along three prominent Nairobi streets yesterday. The empty caskets painted the streets black as they moved slowly atop the heads of their carriers. It was a scary sight but the youthful enthusiastic ‘pallbearers’ went about their business without care as they sang dirges to mark the ‘funeral’ conducted along Kenyatta, Moi and Harambee Avenues. 

The carriers often stopped after walking short distances, kneeled and projected their voices to surrounding offices or none in particular then rose and shot up placards carrying a set of messages—most renouncing poor leadership, embezzlement of public funds and misuse of youths by politicians. 

The youths said recent developments in Parliament where members of parliament passed amendments to existing Acts but were denied their way by the President was an indication that the legislators cared not about other Kenyans problems but theirs. They said the public ‘funeral’ of the deeds by the MPs would send a message to them that they were no longer in sync with the majority of the youths.

“We are conducting this funeral for actions by those selfish legislators. We would like them to know we are not in agreement with their actions,” said a visibly infuriated Calvins Otieno his left hand tightly attached to a coffin.  

“We are tired of these leaders and their selfish undertakings. Can’t they think of us one day,” Sheilah Vugutsa, “I’m so happy to be part of this funeral,” she added then raised up two micro-Kenyan flags tagged in her shoulders in unison with others.  

The coffins, the mark of death often locally feared in equal sense as death itself, seemed not to scare the very first nor the last of the demonstrators as they swung them up and down, sideways, on their heads and others wilfully sat on them. Others still drum them forcing out a merging sound to the dirges sang along. At various stops, they took a minute to sing the national anthem, and they carried banners, of the Kenya, Leaders, and future that the people want.

Those caught unawares on the streets seemed to savour the occasion but scared faces could be seen as their eyes got fixed on the passing coffins. 

A driver of a Kenya Bus along Kenyatta Avenue threw his head out and mouthed “endelea vivyo hivyo. Tuko na nyinyi.” No one heard him as his voice was easily consumed by the noisy ‘mourners’ but he must have been satisfied with his contribution as he drove away immediately his face showing some joy.

The convener of the demonstrations, Boniface Mwangi, said the 49 coffins presented “the 49 years of independence marked by endless impunity, multiple scandals and ripe corrupt activities.” He defended the use of coffins saying they did not show any disrespect of the death but a symbol of the willingness of Kenyans to “kill evils that have bedevilled their country for long.” 

Each of the coffins was emblazoned with prominent scandals including Goldenberg, Anglo Leasing, Triton, NHIF funds, Grand Regency, the Artur Brothers nuisance and other societal ills such as Drugs menace and money laundering. 

The coffins were placed outside parliament rail wall on Harambee Avenue attracting parliamentary staff who rushed to the scene to behold the leaning coffins. 

Police officers tagged along the noisy group and held on to their tools of trade—guns—as they kept vigil on them. Kisumu Town East MP Shakeel Shabir almost got into trouble as he walked into Parliament and was surrounded by demonstrators. He exonerated himself from the recent bills that were adopted by parliament and was let go. 

Now, if our politicians didn't hear naked cries, hope they'll hear the 'coffin-ated' ones laced with dirges. Hope so.

Simulated Debates Come to Nairobi

Sudan President ‘Omar el Bashir’ engaged in a fierce verbal exchange with British High Commissioner to Kenya ‘Christian Turner’ over the indictment of the Sudanese leader to the International Criminal Court. 

The two were locked up in a furious ‘argument’ over the issue as both defended their positions when they met in Pan Afric Hotel on Wednesday. 

‘Mr Bashir’ said he did not recognise the Court describing his indictment as “malicious and propagation of the west”. However, ‘Mr Turner’ responded saying the president had no choice but cooperate with the court by presenting himself at The Hague.  

The two were embroiled in a visibly bitter exchange of words with each defending his position on what ought to be the right way forward as far as the indictment is concerned. 

The exchange was emanated from a debate called “The international criminal justice system and its engagement in Africa,” which brought together actors who took different roles of various personalities and countries involved in the ICC.  Ms Toyin Asao, a Nigerian, acted as Mr Turner while Mr Robert Turyamureeba, a Ugandan, took President Bashir’s role. The two tried to bring out the real issues surrounding the indictment of the Sudanese leader including his refusal and what the Western nations have said about his actions in the past.  

The actors, fellows from the African Leadership Centre, were consumed into their roles and fired up the debate as other members of the panel and other contributors including a ‘representative’ of the Kenya Justice Minster Eugene Wamalwa who defended Kenya’s cooperation with the Criminal Court.

The two seemed so engrossed in their roles and would have been difficult to realise they were just acting.

The participants were lit with jubilance out of the fake confrontation with many saying it was a picture of the reality if the two met face-to-face.  

Another simulated debate centred on the existing terrorist groups in Africa- Somali’s Al Shabaab, and Nigeria’s Boko Haram. The ‘leader’ of the Nigeria’s group, acted by Ghana’s Eric Ahiable, said his group’s mission was to impose Sharia law in the West African nation.

The acts got participants unawares as they struggled to come in terms with the exchanges. Journalists seemed surprised by the developments but were happy and relieved after the clarifications later that set the records straight. 

It was the first time Africa Leadership Centre was holding the meeting in Nairobi that would henceforth be held in the city once every year. A similar one is annually held in London where more simulations are held. The last one was held in the English city, on February 2 and was attended by Ms Fatou Bensouda, the International Criminal Court Chief Prosecutor. 

The simulations were planned to bring out the real issues affecting Africans but in a “relaxed manner and environment,” according to Ms Penda Diallo, one of the organisers of the event. 

The event was addressed by Bishop Desmond Tutu, the retired South African who lauded the debates saying dialogue was important in solving existing “enmity” in the continent. 

Sudanese president, Omar el-Bashir, has been charged with war crimes over the conflict in Darfur and ICC has issued a warrant for his arrest.  However, he has refused to cooperate with the court saying it was a manipulation of the Western nations.

Minister Githae had his Budget, Kenyans have ‘Budget ya Masufferer’

Kenyans can be creative, really creative. 

And when it comes to making fun of their government they can do it wholesomely and leave your ribs dry from a suffocating laughter.  

So on this important day for the rulers when the Minister for Finance Njeru Githae was busy giving his financial breakdown for the next fiscal year, Kenyans on twitter, #KOT, were busy downloading their hearts on the social site with a kind of dream budget ‘expectations’. Their handle #BudgetyaMasufferer gained fiery popularity within seconds and received hundreds of tweets and retweets. Most of them though were mock postings but gave a rare glimpse of what inhabited Kenyans' thoughts when they decide to open up to all their good hearts. 

As per the tradition, the minister read the 2012/13 budget in parliament detailing the amount of money allocated the ministries (state departments after the next elections). He also revealed some austerity measures the government would be taking to cut expenses. Kenyans didn’t care much about that serious part of day. 

They had these on their minds: 

One @Trackmann, posted “ #BudgetYaMaSufferer Iyo shamba enye iko between a rock and a hard place, ma youth wapewe tupande maindi”.

@whizaburia: #BudgetYaMasufferer parliament si club, hiyo speaker inaitwa marende iuzwe” 

Presidential candidate Martha Karua fell into this hilarity posting “#BudgetYaMasufferer I agree with the tweep who said space iko chini ya mayai ijazwe!" feed the nation!  

@sickolia_added “#BudgetYaMasufferer Unga ya Jogoo bana ikue na Flavour ya Kuku.Ata ukikula na skuma si mbaya sana”

@PtahRussian said: “#BudgetYaMasufferer Jua Cali atulipie fees. Alisema yeye ni baba yetu” an apparent mock of a popular musician, Jua Cali, who sang a song titled Baba Yetu.

@aPaCHe14: Hospitali zipunguzwe bei Wakorino wapone vichwa haraka #BudgetYaMasufferer" 

@DopestChiQa: #BudgetYaMasufferer ile light inakuanga at the end of the tunnel izimwe ku save energy. 

#BudgetYaMaSufferer Ma dame waitikie kuingia bahasha ju Box zimepanda bei 

#BudgetYaMasufferer hiyo shimo katikati ya donut itolewe, ata si tamu!! 

There were some sober postings like this one from ‏@duaneceek  who posted “#BudgetYaMasufferer Gava to create a fund to pay interns who are attached to its ministries.  

This is just a small collection of the hundreds posted thorough the handle that spirited up live of #KOT that day.

Budgetyamasufferer attempted to capture the dreams of the very poor in society (unofficially called Masufferers). The hilarious postings touched on their probable day-to-day difficulties, more so aimless wishes but whatever they were they relayed a message to planners on what lay Kenyans expected of their leaders when coming up with the annual budgets. 

 Creativity reloaded. Period.

Print Journalism Facing Serious Extinction Threat

Everything is online. Readers are online. Television and radio stations are broadcasting real time. Social media telltale so strong. Newspapers come out tomorrow, so late. 

Breaking Story.

Everyone is here. The leading broadcasting stations reset their cameras and beam live the occurrence, their flamboyant reporters chew it to the last bit for their consumers, then later call in sector analysts to the take the story forward, further chewing. Further, they initiate an investigative series on the same, every angle of the story attacked and broken down to the last segment. 

Meanwhile, the I-pad guy, the Smartphone lady, the commoner’s phone, are all flashed on, internet clicked on, Facebook, Twitter, G-mail, Yahoo and others come to live. The story is posted; the millions of facebookers read, comment then share it. More get it. Twitter is also heating up. The ‘Big Story’ attracts hundreds of tweets and retweets. It’s also shared. A short-while it’s trending. E-mail giants pop the news. Every human being, animal and robot gets and knows about it.   

In the evening, 12 hours later, the whole nation, even the very last head in the remotest of areas would have had at least a glimpse of it. 

24 hours later, cometh the paper, the good newspaper. Front page, those pictures the TV kept focusing on the previous day, its next neighbour, the headline, regurgitated-picked from the several shots carried by the national TV and fondly mentioned on radio. Still, the social media enthusiasts, powered by community journalism inkling, would have had better pictures. Bloggers had better analyses. Readers would have been fed enough by them. Buyers, newspapers would not have them-they are instead at home, office, lecture halls or in the toilets surfing the breaking news websites. Librarians and archivists—the planet’s fewest habitats— got one, two or three, for reference-the only remaining job for our beloved newspapers. 

The Breaking news day cools, dusk comes and finally night falls. And this nightmare roars louder; the media faces a bite off; one of its once seemingly eternal colleagues precariously hangs on to the hoop, for soon, it will not be part of the hoop. It would have stooped.  Print journalism faces a real threat. Daily newspapers are and would soon not be the news in-thing. They may be extinct.  

Apart from being references, their other remaining jobs: carriers of renowned columnists’ thoughts, wrapping the butcher’s goodies, advertiser’s business home and political rivals’ weapons of verbal destruction.  What else? Joining the dinosaurs!

Happy Birthday Sweet Mama, Kenya

As you turn 49 this Madaraka Day, arithmetically your outgrowth from perfection gets clearer. Why? 

Let’s juggle these numbers a bit. 4+9=13, 1+3=4, 4+3+1+9=17, 1+7=8.  

Seven is the number of perfection as clearly espoused in the Bible. Eight, that next number placed after Seven represents the very first outcome of perfection. 

As Kenya turns 49 today, it’s important to positively relate its gradual growth with the back-of-the-mind understanding that’s it’s a fruit of 7. That its difficulties wouldn’t trounce instead strengthen it.  That as a country facing all sorts of troubles, top being the increasing terrorist attacks, in addition to other home evils as corruption, poverty, IDPs, heightened political greed, all sorts of demonstrations, hate campaigns, weak shilling, robbery-reloaded, the coalition government we should redirect our stares at the positives among them our indefatigable athletes, the expanded democratic space, a loving President, our IT gurus, the new constitution, the national anthem, the upcoming general election, Koffi Annan and let our hearts rejoice. After all in the growth towards perfection, many stumbling blocks would surely make the path heading to that home.  

On your 49^th birthday, Kenya, I give you a present. A reward for giving me a peaceful place to stay for the last 20-something years, though you at times cracked and violence crept you have nonetheless stayed firmest and let many of us soldier on, you have not crumbled even when many wished you could be dismembered. My only gift to you is patriotism. Only that. My patriotism to you even when you are on the brink, even when you are attacked, and even when you are under siege from countless evils, I’ll stick to you.  I’ll support your fight for perfection even when your army is in a foreign land trying to fish out the enemy.

What present are you giving Kenya today?