...And Kenya’s 2011 Top Highs were

This year has not been that bleak as the last blog might have painted. There were several good occurrences worth giving a mention especially as the dusk draws nearer.

First, let’s offer the two top principals a hearty hand-clap. Clap clap! The two: President Kibaki and his Prime Minister Raila Odinga. You know, a whole year has gone without any of them spewing a single serious tantrum. The PM-the more vulnerable of the two has miraculously been so sober and humble-a scenario that should surprise even his closest friends. How he has managed this, only God knows. Psychologists may underscore his leadership growth and maturity. Apart from the small matter of CONSULTATION which threatened to -rear tantrum’s ugly head in January, things have holistically been good as far as cordial relationship between the two heads is concerned.

The old-man’s magic was revealed. And with a herbal cup his profile rose significantly. Every young, teen, adult, sick, healthy, rich, pauper, civilian or government official were (are) on the way to get a quick herbal dose from one Ambilikile Mwasapile, 70, a retired Tanzanian pastor who claimed to heal all sorts of diseases with a concoction made from among others a local indigenous herb. The sensation swept through the country in a blink of an eye and many were reported heading to the pastor’s home in Loliondo-a village in northern Tanzania.

May 1. History read: Osama Bin Laden dead. The world-at least a huge part of the globe rejoiceth at the news of the sought after terrorist’s demise. US President Barack Obama announced on national television that a special force, named Navy SEALs, had killed the runaway villain in some hideout not so far from Pakistan capital Islamabad. That death and subsequent burial at the sea rid the world of a lead terrorist commanding a worldwide terrorism network-Al Qaeda. Other than members of this group or sympathisers, it was a joyful moment for all who love peace and people’s co-existence.

July 9. History read a different thing altogether. A new nation was born. A new people received a new identity. Sudan gave birth and Africa received the infant. The baby, Republic of South Sudan, was welcomed with pomp and colour in the fledgling town of Juba-the new nation’s capital. After years of war South Sudanese got what they had fought for-self governance under first leader President Salva Kiir.  The Kenya media in perfect show of their lead face of character were all over in the new country trying to outdo one another. A thoughtful Kenyan said the media behaved as if the new country was Kenya’s 48th county.  

This month, July, captured Kenyans’ generosity in a way never seen in the recent past. With a rampaging hunger threatening to consume their fellow citizens in the northern parts, Kenyans of goodwill led by the corporate society-media, banks, telecommunication companies and others-joined hands with the mwananchi in contributing towards food purchase for the fast emaciating hunger-struck northerners. The drive, Kenyans for Kenya, is reported to have collected over Ksh677 million and remains one of the top moments for the country.

The clock clocked 1:41.01 end of August 2011. And you know what? David Rudisha was again adorned with the world’s 800 metres WR (world record) not some nondescript Kiwi shoes seemingly ‘forced’ to advertise, luckily . A week earlier he had buried Wilson Kipketer’s long lasting record of 1:41.11. The Kenyan and his countrymen/women were basking in glory. That glory shone further at the Deagu World Championships when Kenyan’s, inspired by Vivian Cheruiyot’s double victory, produced a good show. WRs were not home and rested yet as one Patrick Makau broke the world men’s marathon record during the Berlin race held later that month. He brought back the record held by Ethiopia’s great Haile Gebrselassie. He beat the tape at 2:03.38, twenty one seconds better than the former’s.

You may want to add more...like President Kibaki's political re-ignition,  Kenya currency waking up after long slumber etc..

Kenya’s Top Lows in 2011

This year began slowly after Ocampo chose to open the secret letter hiding names of some Kenyans suspected to have played prominent roles in the 2007 post election mayhem in the last month of 2010-December if you like.

When a year is closed that way, any new one is never going to take off brightly. That’s why this year has been a terrifying year.

April 2011 and some cool 6 Kenyans boarded flights to the Netherlands for the mention of their alleged crimes against humanity plus other atrocities. They had been summoned the previous month. It was dark-cum-sobering-and-fearful moment for most who had thought the ICC was everything but a serious court. The prominent human beings, mostly locally, appeared before three judges led by one Ekaterina Trendafilova, a Bulgarian national. Shaken or awed by the eminence oozed by the global court, some of the suspects uttered such unforgettable quotes such as “these claims brought against me can only happen in a movie,” while others stammered to the amusement, empathy or both from their keen viewers.

Still in the same month April, ooh the good month especially for Christians, but not for some like one Laurent Gbagbo, the defiant Ivory Coast president who was squeezed out of power and fortunately or unfortunately-depends on which eye you look at it-squeezed out of his temporary home-the bunker. He was ousted out of power after refusing to hand over the presidency to his erstwhile rival Alassane Ouatarra who had been declared the winner of an earlier poll. Kenyans related soberly with the violence in the country in remembrance of theirs in 2007.

It was in May. That month the global athletics fraternity, the Kenyan community and everyone would like to forget fast. Not so because it would remain etched in their minds that prolific Kenyan marathoner Samuel Wanjiru died and not running anymore. That last part shouldn’t grammatically be there but the big wish was that even the dead Wanjiru would be able to run considering the suaveness of this Kenyan runner, then reigning Olympic champion at only 24-the youngest to have ever achieved that. He died, and controversies arose around his death and vast property stole heroism from him there and then.  A bleak month indeed.

A bleaker month lay ahead though. Fast forward. September remains that month, that month when everything seems to go wrong, that period when every sunrise seems to bring more pain and every sunset coats that excruciating pain. The real thing at The Hague began-no movies, no chest thumping, no finger-pointing no nothing, Wangari Maathai died, petrol fire roasted more than one hundred slum dwellers etc etc. The Hague and the cool 6 heads went head-to-head with a string of accusations, defended themselves and came back home with shorter tails. Most were humbled by the experience, the media reported, while others are yet to be seen by the public since then. And Mother Environment passed on-may her soul rest in peace. She succumbed to cancer. She was Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, awarded her in 2004, the first African woman to be crowned so.  That Sinai slum fire you may want to scrap from your medulla oblongata soon happened in this month and will refuse to go either. It’s there to remain especially considering the hurt and shock it brought to many. Those charred bodies, the pandemonium, the gory, the media competition and the latter’s failure to pose a prime time opinion poll question like: Do you think the burned bodies were actually dead?

Not playing with your mind with the next month of October when death robbed the world of another icon. Steve Jobs died from a rare pancreatic cancer. His legacy remains considering his revolutionary inventions which began with I-pod, I-phone, and I-pad are now consumed ferociously by the whole world.  Another man died but after spending some smelly time in a sewer. Though he was from a far land, many Kenyans knew him and might have come in contact with one or two of his properties. That man was General President Muammar Gadhafi, the Libyan dictator who had been in power since, mmm, forever. 

You may want to add more like Gideon Mbuvi aka Mike Sonko’s escalated waywardness, Charity Ngilu’s VP Kalonzo handshake snap, Syokimau demolitions and many, many more won’t you?    

The Demolitions Depublic of Denya

Please welcome the new republic in Africa with a befitting round of applause. A standing ovation should be in order too. Thank you.

The mutant of the Democratic Republic of Kenya, DDD as it is popularly known locally, has gone viral and in obedience to its fore name, it’s doing all the necessary and unnecessary demolition of houses, homes, and souls too. It’s their motto, more less their vision to ensure every little abode erected in suspect places is flattened with the powerful trunk of diesel-powered earth-movers.

The new nation will have a new president next year and the leader may as well not have a place to live because the State House may have been demolished by then.

In its Vision 2030, DDD, expects its citizens to have developed wings and more so build nests on top of trees by that year. Many others would be expected to endlessly fly around the world as the atmosphere will be their only abode.

The country is known to mutate and in line with this duty other mutants expected to come to life in the near future are Retirees for Raila Revolution, (RRR), Uhuru to Usurp power in Unison (UUU), Hague Hungry for Honey (HHH) and some few others. The later is thought to be pregnant with Ocampo Ornate Obduracy (OOO). All these are following the footsteps of the successful emergence and demise of the lead mutant KKK early this year. Though it died from eating itself after wholly consuming Kenya in obedience to its motto Kula Kenya Kabisa, its diehards say it reached the end of its life span.

The house-demolition came hot on the heels of another that has received global praise; the Operation Demolish Al Shabaab, in fairer words, Operation Linda Nchi, has gained lots of thumbs up at home and away as the terrorist group continues to receive heavy bombardments. However, the latest has attracted countable smiles. Not everyone has been excited by it and the trauma accompanying it stole the little sympathy from the people’s hearts. Now it has transformed to pure hatred towards the government, the estranged home destroyers and some menial county council with a boring name, Mavoko.

After these ongoing homes destruction, questions as to why the government is not pulling down skyscrapers peeping into the State House-a more important entity in the country than airports and air bases-would definitely arise.  Kenyans led by such big mouths like Okiya Omtata may lead protests centred on asking for the demolition of tall buildings such as those in Upper Hill, Nyayo House, farther KICC, and those other blue-chip skywards as I&M, Lonrho etc illegally ‘seeing’ the president’s house. You know, these may cause a serious scare to the head of state security much more than those shanties milled around airports, army-ports or such. Okiya may think and say: When will we see Nyayo House coming down like the Tower of Babel? By the way, when should we expect it to come down? Maybe when an earth-mover with an elongated trunk is invented so that it can reach the tip of the House before knocking it down floor by floor. Maybe.

'Mbrrrr' Sio Mbusi Hapa It’s Money

Mbrrrr is the word here; it's the word that everyone speaketh. In emphasis they mispronounce it and in doing so brings out that sound of Mbusi-that Kenyan radio presenter known for his word jocular and ‘hakuna mbrrrr’ which, according to him means no trouble-as in another way of saying Hakuna Matata.

Not in Ethiopia though. The word (m)brrr means something else. Something good. Anything life. Anything money. When you say that anyone with apt hearing sense definitely looks up in expectation of Ethiopian money-Birr-hugging the atmosphere. You know Birr is their fuel of life just like the sweet Kenyan shilling or American Dollar. So (m)birr is not a word to joke about here unless you are hawking, which might be a novel thing because it’s very rare in the streets. There’s no dawa ya mende 50 birr*5, or handukachif 1 birr or such money-minting business in this African city-Addis Ababa. This is a serious city with serious people-though I hear at night it turns its silver lining to a corrosive coating where prostitutes take over this cold city. 

Nonetheless, daytime it’s a wonderful place to live in but only if you learn to speak faster the popular language here-birr. Woe unto you if your only claim to fame is that you speak fluent Swahili which make the likes of Qfm’s Rashid Abdala shiver. That Rashid language is as useless as it’s raw here so your fame will be equally nought. You may try your broken English though because you’ll find a good home here. AmhaRic is the national language and that R, oh my, is like it opens a floodgate of R. The letter is emphasized in every worrrd. Everrrything they sayr herer hasr an R everrywhererr. 

If you are planning to shift base to herer you betterrr starrrt doing a goodr sessionr of Amharic in oner of the colleges in townr, if there is any. Kenyans, by the way, should learn Amharic, it’s one of the most spoken languages in Eastern Africa. You know it’s spoken by over 80 million East Africans who don’t care how fluent your Queen English is or how your Arabic-born Swahili sounds.

So when you’re subscribing for that French, Germany or Chinese class please think Amharic too. You don’t won’t 80 million people to gossip about you when you are with them. Do you?

Kenya’s XXX (X-Police, X-Bonoko, X-Kitu Kidogo)

Kenya’s police are back with a bang. Baaaang! They are here again. The people who instead of shoo...show...ing criminals the right way to court they often feed their bodies with bullets before collecting “rounds of ammunition” besides them. They are back though.One clap for them for redefining our table menus on their comeback. You know, now they can serve you a raw human brain. Pheeeeew! They are not even asking you to clean your good hands before dipping them in the brainy-plate but letting the gun-butt caress your head as your savour-or-whatever it. That man on TV said. 

Thank goodness.They have really gone ahead of the local eating culture. Don’t they deserve a real stomp that will make Kirk Franklin’s one insignificant for bringing a good relationship between the gun, brain and eating?  

Back to the touchy ongoing debate around the mind-boggling revelations by local TV, KTN, labelled ‘The Untouchables’ concerning the mis(behaviour) of the enforcers of law and order in as far as drugs are (peddled, consumed, sold)concerned.  An upright man-or so it seemed in the clip-said he was told to do a vulture-like act by being asked by the police to “kula hiyo ubongo Swahili for eat that brain” belonging to a bludgeoned lifeless friend, a police officer himself who was off duty.

Those who did so should be axed, not literally, or Xed if they must remain in the Force. And the police commissioner should, by now, have apologised to Kenyans for his men’s carnivorous tendency. Plus, of course, for making many nauseate and unnecessarily puke when that clip came fore.

What of those Bonokos ever cuddling gunned bodies? The police might be involved secretly too according to the Bonoko-guy pare Ngara. For starters, bonoko ni bunduki fake (a toy gun)-those ever found next to gun-ridden bodies of suspected carjackers, robbers, mungiki-suspects etc. They are ever suspects but never given a chance to confirm or deny if they are truly what they are thought-of. Real bullets find good way into them before they raise ‘their toys’ or placed next to them seconds later-ask Mr Bonoko for more info.

Those police officers who fear toy pistols or place them next to lifeless bodies, whichever comes first or last, should be axed or Xed if they must remain in the Force.

Finally, their fodder, their life, their oxygen, their job, their bribe...their gitu gidogo their...Can’t we order them to let go or else we will not pay taxes so they don’t get salaries? We can’t you know that. We may X-rate them, the Traffic Police, and if you can’t, give them fake notes like their fake bonokos. At your own risk, of course. 

Whose Sycophant are You?

If there’s another more fertile ground for the growth of sycophancy and its children across the globe than Kenya, then that place must be really inhaling and exhaling sycophants instead of oxygen. You know Kenya, in addition to its wealth of long-distance runners, the country also floats in another kind of richness; career-sycophants.

And this lot is not the kind which burns calories chasing another athlete, their calories are burnt up within their jaws by their ever vibrating tongue. This organ empties tanks of energy flattering the he/she who places a meal on their tables. And it does it perfectly to the extent even in the august house like a national parliament, it’s so spirited it refuses to hear what the mind sayeth to it to say.

When the meal-giver is accused of wrong-doing this lot rises up in lethal arms daring the accusers to go ahead with their dirt-smearing and face dire consequences. When they are seemingly defeated or headed for a fix, they boast and unashamedly say “I’m a sycophant and I have no apologies to make.” It’s understandable. Sycophants, which are self-seeking, servile flatterers; fawning parasites according to the dictionary, always mute their minds and increase their mouths’ volume. Take for example, Ms Millie Odhiambo, the nominated MP. Yesterday, she was sycophanting with fervour when good MPs were trying to weed out nonsense threatening to steal sense from a vital debate surrounding the Kazi Kwa Vijana programme. The Prime Minister, Raila Odinga did well to counter falsehoods with facts and excellently keep off a scandal that was closely hovering over his head. That’s what gentlemen do.

However, the day’s sycophants, including the self-confessed one in Millie-by the way did she have to declare it publicly? Thought Kenyans already knew whose sycophant she’s-almost ruined that excellence by the PM. They did not succeed though and sobriety carried the day, as it should always.

From that brilliant moment when Youth and Sports assistant minister, Kabando wa Kabando, hit the screw on the head about parliamentary sycophants-they were already on their feet then, he said-to the dark moment when Millie accepted the screw, there came a grotesque picture about Kenyans and how sycophantic they could get. It’s undoubted that most are enslaved in their minds by those above them and factually those they see as their kings and queens. Remember one top minister who said her nudity was going public if Uhuru Kenyatta was to be kept in jail at The Hague? You remember? What of those disoriented fellas who literally murdered the national anthem when they tried singing it in a foreign land? You know them? Those too who regurgitated it (sycophancy) in parliament yesterday. 

And many others. 

So who’s that person you are so sycophantic about? Or rather, who’s that person who robbed you of your mind and now you can’t think you talk, you only talk about them. You dream about them. You worship them. They are your lifeline, without them you are dead. On top you never see any bad in them. Who’s him or her? Tell us. 

Kenyans Should be Wary of these Self-Righteous Individuals

Kudos to those self-less Kenyans deep in the foreign land of Somalia trying to fish out criminals who have, for a good time, brought mayhem into our good country.  May they be well and strong enough to repulse the criminals’ poison and their evil darts.

Back home, and here exists another group of ‘holy-than-you’, perfect, self-righteous men and women whose main hobby, it appears, is to point out others’ failures while thumping their chests in praise of their ‘impeccable’, ‘sanctimonious’ characters, jobs or offices.

These people ever blame others for all sorts of problems bedevilling the country but at no point do they dare see themselves culpable too.

The Prime Minister, Raila Odinga

Of course he’s the “perfect man whose working rate is above everyone else as he’s the angel.” Others are devils. Recently, the holier-than-thou PM said on TV “nothing I’m in charge goes wrong.” He almost added that “I’m your God, remember”. The statement was in response to the controversy surrounding the Kazi Kwa Vijana funds’ embezzlement that has seen his office heavily mentioned. Instead of urging Kenyans to wait for a thorough investigation before accusing him and his office, the PM who’s an appointee of the President, was telling Kenyans that his angel-hood was unfairly being threatened and that instead of stripping him of the white robes they should lynch those questioning his integrity.  

Martha Karua, Narc-Kenya Leader

The iron-lady just led a fire-spitting contingent that gave some of the members of parliament a fast firing from the party. The members suspended or given a 3-month-flowery-brewing before being accepted back respectively are the outspoken Gideon Mbuvi aka Mike Sonko, Makadara MP and his counterpart Juja’s William Kabogo respectively.

The top reason for their otherwise domineering treatment is that the two were not hoisting enough the slowly elongating tail of Martha Karua bid for presidency next year. On the contrary, they were hobnobbing with Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta, the party said when they sought to substantiate their beating of the two.

The occurrence when looked at closely, clearly Martha Karua was just telling them, I’m your god, the righteous, clean and perfect one who deserves your only worship, do otherwise and I’ll shoot you out.

Safaricom, Kenya’s number one network

The company is more of a Kenyan citizen when you consider how close Kenyans hold it. It’s the first, if not the second citizen, in that census that captures all ‘good’ Kenyans. You know, it’s always fair to see Safaricom as an individual rather than a roguish company out to make maximum profits through maximum exploitation of their dominance. You might not have known but know it from today, please.

The telecommunication company just increased its calling rates because it’s the know-it-all company, rather individual, the righteous one who sees no evil in whatever they do. Question them and they will tell you to go to...but know us, your god, will not dare change anything because many worship us.  

Kenyans should be wary of these individuals!

Kenya Military Vs Al Shabaab Fight should be PG-ed

A protective mechanism is indisputably required to keep safe the Kenyan children who may not be having any idea about what’s presently going on. Too, those young at heart, or even those with brittle souls who may not withstand for long gory details coming out of the ongoing fight, they need to be protected.

The leading reason for this mostly rest in the way the Kenyan media is reporting daily operations. Most exhilarated by the positive progress made by the military have made the killings look so sweet and worth indulging in just like a hobby, when broadcasting prime news. Some anchors even smile and let out grinning faces when telling viewers of how killing was so good for the army now deep inside the lawless neighbour-Somalia.

It’s fine to rejoice when you hit hard an enemy who seems to be jaded and wholly defeated even before the real battle. It’s good for grown-ups who understand the dynamics, the reason for engaging in such battles and importantly why one victorious side decorates deaths caused by them. That’s understandable.

Is it ok too for 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14-year-olds? Your guess is good enough. It’s not ok. First, arbitrary killing is never in their vocabulary and should never. From that debut day they learn to think, speak and hear, they are advised against killing. In schools, matatus, churches (Sunday school), at home and other legal places they are filled with anti-killing codes and messages.

Now, the contrary is happening. A lot of killing, by the Kenyan forces, is happening in the battle field and being reported ably by the local media. Should we expect the young minds to crunch for themselves the scenario and know it’s a legal act of murder-which is probably new to them because they have not been taught of such-and praise the military alongside their adults? Should they? Guess they are not able to do that.

The only way to avoid such contradictions and keep safe our children is to ‘PG’ the military/Al Shabaab news. It may help, though minimally, but at least parents/guardians would have been warned prior to the broadcasts and allowed to keep off their young ones or provide guidance. In addition to this, children should be made aware on how this fight is necessary and allowed despite going against major religious teachings which bar all sorts of acts of squeezing out human life.

Let Alone Mboya, Go Look for Odinga

Ok, ok, when you’re extremely overjoyed by something you can easily get hysterical. And hysteria, frequently affecting high school girls in wanton attacks, is not a nice thing. It’s not like say, having extra levels of happiness within or letting that happiness overwhelm you. It’s more of that as it borders in madness, insanity or mere folly.

Yesterday, after Gor Mahia deservedly won the FKL Cup, the club’s fans were everywhere, physically, doing all the nonsensical, shouting all the hogwash, and singing heroic songs. They too rushed to have a kiss with their beloved building Nation Centre and offer leaves-libation there as they have done always (by the way Why Always me This?)

 It was an earned win for K’Ogalo for first, it returns the club to continental football championships where they will play against top club teams in Africa and second, gives it impetus as it struggles to find form in the Premier League now on its final lap. That’s all.

Now, here is the mother of stupidity. Reports say the joy-inebriated fans chose to dismantle (and probably steal pieces) the recently installed statue of Tom Mboya after camping around it for some time.

So how is a statue of a respected Kenyan related to Gor Mahia’s success? And was it necessary for these fans to vandalise it? Nothing else would underscore this silliness except blatant idiocy. Let alone this iconic individual, who, though most of us, including many of those fans did not see him alive nor met him, posses great history for all Kenyans.

It happens that Kenya’s Prime Minister, Right Honourable Raila Odinga was MIA in parliament yesterday when he was required to answer some pertinent questions about the alleged loss of funds meant for the Kazi Kwa Vijana programme. Considering that Mr Odinga was most required (don’t know if he’s still mia-ing) to say something about this brewing hot-potato and he seems to have been missing, wasn’t it prudent for those fans to help the Members of Parliament look for the PM instead of destroying a symbol of one of the country’s top icon? Thought so.  

So...‘Why Always Us??’

Kenyans are as scared as they should be after their mother country decided to take some elements of a crooked neighbour by the stems of its horns. The hell has already been scared out of them and they are now living a police life-ever looking left, right, front and back for the villain plus having a 24-hour finger on the trigger-stones, bare hands or whichever, no guns of course except the legal carriers.

The Al-Shabaab have invariably provoked the sober head of Kenya until now when instead of crying, the country decided to flex its muscles and let the provoker do the sobbing. Really? Do they really cry? May be yes or no. You know, some religions tell their believers they can die when trying to kill others or die with them and their souls will be glorified thereafter. There's some whiff of such religions professed by those being pursued by the Kenyan military.

Then the president of the country housing the bra-haters, after a session of miraaish meditation has turned his back on Kenya’s military already smoking the haters out of their dens plus giving them some free few lessons on the importance of bras.

That’s them eastwards.

Westwards, this country often massages a love-hate relationship with another nation so interested in fish and hates water around a particular tiny island according to their ever cowboy-hat-clad president. You remember jaluo this jaluo that rap-talk sometime last year?  He did perform that cheek choke (hip hop) song before he fished out some of the surveyors he had sent to officially give Kenya the island and avoid a robbery without violence charge for stealing.

Northwards. The kid is growing but not dry of troubles. Hints say they want to straighten some borders with the big brother even before its eggs hatch. Who will protect its eggs if the big bro closed its doors on them? Can't they at least build a ka-Jubaish Nairobi before raising their head. Still there, Meles Zenawis men have always beaten Kenyans to the skin in their legal homes within Kenya. The Prime Minister of Kenya even cried but those people don’t know tears, theirs is spears!

 

Why always me, no us?

Southwards, is more or less a docile bro. So good it can request a fly not to taste its food. Good bro though, at least it’s not so aggressive but you have to omba (request) to be a bit more outright and come out boldly.

The question again is WHY ALWAYS US? And may Manchester United fans get not another why-always-me beating. Not even past SIX in the evening.

Should this Soap Opera go to Full Trial?

If it goes, just as many haters of evening soaps, mostly men, would be the happiest lot in this world. TV, the four-cornered metallic receiver of images, would be a top thing in their lives, once again. Soap addicts aka women would, of course, realise that there are more important things in their sections of living-those things like cooking, bathing, getting abreast through newspapers to avoid looking dumb the following day in office by talking of some inanimate Alejandros when serious Kenyans are into the saving of the fallen shilling or planting a tree in remembrance of the fallen heroine, Prof Wangari Maathai.  

Anyhow, other than introducing those idle addicts to real life by closing out any chance to air those hyped Mexicans, there’s a possibility the real truth about who was truly at the core of the post-election violence would come out. At the full trial, there’ll be adequate time to delve into every angle of the cases. Every soul enormously mentioned would get a chance to present themselves for frying or wash clean their muddied initials. Such prominent Kenyans like Prime Minister Raila Odinga, Environment minister John Michuki, reformed former Mungiki leader Maina Njenga, Roads minister Franklin Bett or even George Saitoti, the Internal Security minister.

These individuals have been mentioned there and again concerning the alleged planning of the 2007 violence. If the cases stop at the confirmation hearings when and where would the persons get a chance to be heard? Take for instance Raila. The PM has been accused left, right and centre by both Uhuru and Ruto’s contingents of knowing a thing or two about the violence. His accusation emanates from the mass action calls he made in the heat of the contested presidential results. Also Maina Njenga. The outlawed group he once commandeered is at the centre of the said retaliatory attacks in Nakuru and Naivasha. He was the leader then and for justice sake this guy probably knows 3s or 4s about the allegation. If the fast-woven cases by Luis Moreno-Ocampo collapsed at the Pre-Trial Chamber II, where else would Raila and Njenga cleanse their soiled names? Cleanse or soil themselves further. Whichever. But honestly the mentioned ought to get a chance to say one or two whether during the full trial or somewhere else.

Another thing is the ability of the ICC’s lead prosecutor Moreno-Ocampo to build a strong case. The on-going cases have painted a dissatisfying, fearful, incoherent constructor of criminal accusations about the feared Argentine. No doubt about that. In fact his cross-examination of Uhuru Kenyatta cemented the latest descriptions about him. He never came out as tactful like his sub-ordinates. Now many have cast aspersions about his abilities can he too be subjected to a full trial so that his performance get a wholesome review?

Such trivialities as Kenyans knowing the extent of the competence of their lead counsels, assessing their performance in global stages or getting a chance to organise fundraisers to buttress their bank accounts or even some journalists getting a golden chance to fly to the Dutch world might play a minimal role in getting this soap opera go ahead or halting it.

Moral Lesson:  which way Ms Ekaterina Trendafilova? 

Troy Davis Execution: Unfair, Violates Right to Life

When Kenyans, and indeed the world, was busy with their daily chores, someone was busy “executing” a thought-of erratic man in the US. One alleged wrong was being settled by a certain wrong. It’s unbelievable such things do happen in a progressive-or so they say-world, where someone perceived to have killed is treated likewise, that is, killed too.

Two wrongs indeed can never make a right. Instead the second exacerbates the kicker and a string of wrongs would undoubtedly follow until the right thing is done.

Troy Davis was convicted of murder in the state of Georgia for murder in 1989 and subsequently put on the death row. He is said to have killed an off-duty policemen. Yesterday, after several attempts to abstain and thousands of calls for clemency, he was finally murdered through lethal injection.

The guy is dead and if those who subjected him to the killer injection thought they were supplying justice they must have realised that they mistakenly shifted to the wrong gear if the number of clemency calls and the enormity of the protestations against it are to be considered. Former US president Jimmy Carter was among the many who asked for mercy. The respected Nobel laureate, Desmond Tutu also requested for pardon. Nobody heard them and the law, made by man for another man, “snuffed” one more life and will certainly consume another soon.

The US, the self-proclaimed super-power of the nations, killed with one hand whereas the other hand pointed at other nations for “violating (simple human rights) such as freedom of expression, respect of the ballot and observing democracy.” They are good at these that’s why there are knocking other countries’ heads with the sole intention of enforcing their ideologies on them. However, when it comes to such other super rights as rights to life (like what the Kenyan constitution indicates), the country care less and kill with reasonable doubt.

Reactions to Troy Davis induced death has been phenomenal and as it point out the depth of racial feelings in the developed federal country, it brings out the great distance between the common man and the custodians of law.

Here are some of the responses to the death as reported by the New York Times:

“He's a black man. 100 percent certainty of guilt does not matter to the whites who run the system. Being black is reason enough to be put to the death in their eyes” posted one disgusted individual in reference to the decision.

“Once again America shows it has a cruel and barbaric side, putting us in the same category as China and Iran. This mocks America's promise as a country of decency and laws,” said another.

Another was so overwhelmed with ignominy: “Shame on Georgia. Shame on the USA. This is one of those extremely rare days when I am embarrassed to be an American.”

These reactions capture the excruciating pain one feels when an imperfect man seeks to settle another’s imperfections by condemning them to the grave. It’s unfair but that’s the law.

Moral Lesson: Judgeth now you filthy man. You're not God. Just forgive.That's how simple it's.

Vital Lessons From the Confirmation Hearings at The Hague

Their battle was never going to be easy but the half of the Ocampo six may afford a smile or a wry one for that matter after slightly matching their enemy’s mountain of weapons. The three Kenyans should enjoy this moment-you never know it could be their only moment of happiness. Being subjected to a trial, where your initials changes to ‘Suspect’ to ‘Accused’, is not a sugary endeavour worth a smile. Or is it?

So let’s give these guys good space to smile and thump their chests, at least for three months.

Now the interesting episode has receded there are quite a number of lessons that could be drawn from the proceedings.

First is the eloquence and dis-loquence of the defence counsels. Of course one Kioko Kilukimi starred in the 10-day or so cameo. His eloquence in countering Cynthia Tai’s final submissions is not one which many local lawyers posses. After a surged dismantling of evidence by the rather tongue-juddering Ms Tai who made a good attempt to destroy William Ruto’s initial empowered exonerating evidence, lawyer Kilukumi, definitely with the help of other members of the team, responded in an enviable manner but more importantly in equal measure to Tai’s. If you are facing charges that could scald you to the bone, get an eloquent, experienced lawyer whose tongue would be always ready to wag even the most frightening; that’s the good lesson. 

Other lawyers did well. No question about that. Henry Kosgey’s defence was tactful and must have really drunk their water well. However, such tactics sometime backfires not all times though. Hope they were reminded of the old adage: united we stand divided we fall. Lawyer George Oraro did well to distance his client from the flock and either led him to the hungry lions where he will be dismembered in seconds or to the plush, serene, garden where he’ll enjoy fresh air and happy flowers pamper him with praises after conquering roaring lions.

Then Joshua Sang’s defence whose, in absolute magnanimity, seemed disjointed and unsure of the magnitude of the case in front of them. Lawyer Katwa Kigen did everything for the journalist and despite facing accent challenges in his court address, waged a brave fight and managed to give enough to bother Moreno-Ocampo, just enough. He also struggled with clarity and often left his arguments hanging a problem that could have arisen from the enormity of handling two weighty ICC cases. 

Any court is normally a battle ground for lawyers. The most argumentative counsel, the one who’s outright, unambiguous may easily gain at a go 50% of the judges’ minds without necessarily being honest. Analysts say Sang’s defence didn’t perform well but that could fall on either side because the ICC judges-being the custodians of global justice-are expected to be extremely competent and not easily susceptible to side-shows. Despite this belief good lawyers are indispensable.

Just a quick one: What did that big hearty laugh by Luis Moreno-Ocampo imply? Could it represent a dismissive act by a cornered man trying to cover his weaknesses with a jolly face? Or is it like a hyena-laugh, that is, noise made by a hungry man ready to devour to the last bone just like that sound by a hungry hyena?

The Most Traumatic Week for Kenyan Children

Petrol fire!...Everyone goes, goes and goes crazy. They refuse to come back instead they choose to stay in Crazy-land and enjoy what that section of the world offers.

That’s the best description one easily finds for what happened last Monday when petrol fire consumed human lives at Sinai in Mukuru slums.

First this crazy episode began with a leakage of a valuable liquid into a sprawling hamlet and the leaker’s owner somehow chose not to act in time to stop the leaking. Second, tantalised by the precious liquid, residents suffering from several inadequacies, including knowledge of the flammability of the fluid, but ready to get themselves a worthy meal out of an irregular freebie, rushed out to scoop the liquid. By the way, who would not do that? Especially when the daily supply of food is unpredictable owing to lack of enough money to buy inflated foodstuffs. Many would rather risk quick death than die a slow hunger-caused death.

Third, out of nowhere fire being a great friend to petrol quickly re-establishes its camaraderie with the latter albeit with disastrous effects that could only be equated to the biblical Sodom and Gomorrah.

Fourth, chaos erupt, people burn to death, others survive but with various degrees of lethal burns, some cry, others overawed by the intensity of the flames. Fifth, intrusive media in fierce competition and seeking to outdo their nearest and furthest rivals run aimlessly to capture and transmit live pictures of survivors burning, ‘enjoy’ a bit by resting their cameras on these excruciatingly pained individuals, then knowingly or ignorantly, whichever comes first, decide to feed its viewers, without prior warning, with dead bodies, dripping blood, sobbing children...sixth is the unending blame game-unnecessary!

So why did the local TV stations transmit live pictures of the injured with blood streaming from their bodies? Or scalded sections of their good bodies? Was it moral? At a time when most Kenyans were having lunch? And probably at a time when children were watching TV?

The jury should be out on this. However, moral or immoral, legal or illegal, correct or incorrect,   innocent children should never be feed blood, scalded or charred bodies on TV or similar pictures on newspapers. If it’s nightmarish for adults who at least expect such things to happen in case of fire, how will an ignorant 10-year-old who knows nothing about such things feel at night after seeing gory clips and pictures deliberately fed by scoop-addicted media outlets? It must be terrorising as in more than nightmarish.

Unfortunately, that’s what most children saw on the screens and read on their dailies this week. They must be cursing the creator of this world for subjecting them to such devilish things.

Moral Lesson: Most media outlets performed badly in the whole episode. If they sought to tell Kenyans of the fire’s intensity they should have done it with dignity instead of scaring the hell out of most including children.

Raphael Tuju Could Be the Best Pick for Neutrals

Many presidential wannabes have flooded the fast-populating battling arena to State House. Some, especially the first-timers, have started selling their crude, naive, too-wishful, glorified manifestoes while the old boys and girls are busy transcending valleys and hills trying to re-polish their past in a bid to attract would-be new voters come next year and remind staunch supporters of their flamboyance and capabilities.

The newest entrant, Raphael Tuju, is one individual worth his salt and if Kenyans wanted a man of principles to lead them from next year then they have that leader in Tuju. A principled man is that one who stands with those principles even if an adulterating hand is hovering around. Such people stick to what’s in their hearts, follow their beliefs and refuse to be compromised by most of all, their bosses. Tuju did that against Nyanza idol Raila Odinga.

Tuju can stand tall and say he denied Raila a chance to force him worship his ego-often bloated. Instead he chose to get stuck to his guns but better or worse he went ahead and bravely shot Raila’s ego even though that was suicidal. He was literally killed by the Prime Minister’s popularity in Nyanza when he chose to oppose him and fight a lonely battle which he lost before he threw the first missile in 2007.

Rarieda constituency, home to Tuju and where he was Mp (2003-07), is entangled in the region having a more or less single political idol in Raila. If another voice, like Tuju, emerges they are abhorred and treated similarly like John the Baptist and their desert-calls rejected. That’s what happened to the former cabinet minister who spent stints at Information and Foreign Affairs dockets before being halted by determined fate in 2007. Nonetheless, Tuju knowing he was writing his political will decided to kick Raila out of his political life. The outcome was nothing unexpected-he died, politically. That though might have been a blessing in disguise now he’s thinking of selling himself to all Kenyans other than to adulterated inhabitants.

For neutrals, those sober voters who don’t worship any political idols, Raphael Tuju could be that prefect pick for them; the one you vote for and be safe from being branded tribal. Others like James Ole Kiyiapi and Mutava Musyimi who would likely try to endear themselves to independent or undecided voters would certainly find hard to battle for those votes with Tuju.

Considering the current status of local politics, though still marred by tribal idolism there’s a general feeling that could be changing and 2012 elections could be a turning point. Such tweaking would set free voters from voting for enforced political kings and instead vote for deserving, better candidates. Raphael Tuju could be one of those beneficiaries of this looming change.

Moral Lesson: Stick to what your heart presses you to even if it’s considered suicidal by outsiders. That might turn out to be a blessing later.

Don’t Just like that Bluish Facebook Like, Please

It’s gory, scary, heartless...to do that. Just insert any other adjective representing an obnoxious thing and you’ll truly capture how it feels to blindly like that update.

Facebook is a fun place just like most social sites. A place where you let your mind out without first engaging second parties; you know, a perfect groove where one downs official attire and adorn a casual mode on anything-posts, chats, status updates, photos etc. It’s mostly meant to while away literally doing nothing-yea, you can say winding down or wasting time.

Now, there’s a crop of individuals that is getting abundant credit for mastering the art of ‘liking’ update statuses. They normally disturb the peace of that bluish four-word icon ever placed below any status. By the way, it’s also well placed just adjacent to ‘Dislike’ which is apparently the opposite of ‘Like. Comment is its other neighbour. By the way, why don’t those people who worship like rarely comment? Isn’t it fair to comment than to distress someone with unneeded likes?

Anyhow, so what’s the beef here? It’s squarely about carelessly, recklessly, or wittingly pressing on that icon-Like-without engaging your good mind. That egregious habit escalating like a Kalahari-Desert-fire.

Someone out of their working minds decide that their troubles are too big to be accommodated in their minds and that Facebook would suffice in their quest to provide extra storage, posts those troubles and within a few hours s/he gets several likes. What the hell, the person needs consolation rather than getting excited of (liking) whatever they are going through.

Like, as in the word, generally means a state of agreement, happiness generated by something. For example, I like Manchester United-in default it means you are happy with that English team and probably agree with how they play or their history. That word-Like-possesses other meanings which are of no use for now.

Going by that, a bereavement post or tragedy status or one that embodies misfortunes should not be liked. In fact it should be disliked. The big question is, how can you be happy about a tragedy like the recent loss of 23 lives in a grisly road accident in Machakos? The Daily Nation posted the accident and the number of deaths yesterday on its Facebook page and oh my, you should have seen how the likes streamed like a rejuvenated river? Gruesome. Nutty. You mean some people like hearing of other’s deaths? In Kenya?-other than Al-Shabaab?

And this one. A friend pastes a loss of someone close and some friends expecting friends to be sorry and offer their worthy condolences. However others rush to like that. Clanger. Silly. For soberness sake, why should one like that? And why shouldn’t you be expunged from someone’s list for doing that?

Moral Lesson:  Basically, Like (especially on Facebook) is for showing concurrence not adding pain. Please consider that before you click on it next time.

Hussein Mohammed, the Yearned Saviour of Kenyan Football?

He has been seriously asking for the headship of Kenyan football. Seriously is the word here. 

A keen follower of the elections campaigns ought to have realised by now that we only have one serious contender-Hussein Mohammed-for chairmanship of Kenyan football come 13 August poll. Others are mere jokers, the common heads whose faces are smeared with all spots of dirt spewed out of recent local football mess; most of these lazy, not-so-clean individuals have screwed up our beloved game and now have tendered their names for a last chance to totally destroy our football by wiping the very last of the remains. These old guards are now singing holy, holy in sheep skins yet inside they are wishing there were no elections so they could continue with their sucking habit coated in self-seeking hyena skins.

This coming Saturday is the lyrical red day for Kenyan football enthusiasts. It’s either the day we’ll redeem this game’s leadership from the brink of total demise or we’ll allow it to slide into the dogs’ den. For lovers, it’s their big wish that the game get spruced up sooner than later and that August 13 proves to be a stepping stone towards that dream.

Reading the mood, one easily realises that Hussein could be the saviour coming at the right time. He might not be so pushy or having a forceful, affirming voice, nonetheless he has some enticing reasoning.

For those who will vote this Saturday, here’s what Hussein tells you: "I believe in football. I believe it has the potential to change lives and communities all over Kenya but this potential remains untapped due to mediocre and visionless management of the game at the highest level."

Much is known about this guy football-wise. Nairobi’s Super 8 Soccer Tournament has been labelled a perfect model to nurture young footballers. He’s the brainchild behind the tournament. Apart from this he has also shown some commitment in him to take Kenya’s game to the next level. In Sammy Sholei, a former Kenyan international, as his deputy, football leadership would be firing from all cylinders come August 14.

Quick fix: What does Sam Nyamweya has for us? After many years at the top of Kenyan football and neither doing anything worth engraving in any memorable part of the mind nor giving a worthwhile act to spur growth in this sector, he should just hang his boots. No one wants old wine when new, promising and sweetness-oozing wine is copiously available. After all the man was busy inviting ‘chiefs’ from his countryside to grace his official launch recently.

Others are just messed up heads whose excitement springs up every moment Kenya’s rating drops down. They are not after the good of the beautiful game but only craving for a chance to satisfy their bloated ego born out of doing nothing for the good of football in the country.

We don’t even have space for Hussein Swaleh, the recognised Fifa chieftain in the country. Do we?

Moral Lesson: it’s time Kenyans tasted new wine made by fresh football brewers. Let the old brewers bury their old heads in their stinking wine.