The Truest Affidavit in Kenya

1. That Kenya is suffering from an incurable disease called 'corruption'.

2. That this disease will kill (or has it killed?) this country and bury it in the deepest end of the Dead Sea.

3. That the resurrection of this country during the biblical rapture is not assured.

4. That the disease seems to be genetically transmitted and even some 30-year-olds by the name of Gethis have already contracted it.

5. That the disease is not gender sensitive.

6. That only just about 40 questionable billionaires run this country yet it boasts of 40 million beggars.

7. That the beggars are not necessarily poor but only begging that the country's riches should not be squandered anymore by the super-rich 40.

8. That there was Goldenberg. Anglo Leasing. Maize Scandal. Kazi Kwa Vijana scam. And now NYS scandal and Sh200 million Supreme Court Bribery. 

9. That all those scandals involved key government officials who looted the hell out of us. 

10. That they always claim political witch-hunt when cornered even if evidence is as clear as daylight.

Further,

11. That ordinary Kenyans should be told what affidavits are before they are bombarded with any other including this.

12. That we should make writing of affidavits a compulsory subject in primary and secondary schools. 

13. That doing so would enable students learn how to tell on one another under the protection of the law.

14. That affidavits should be a little short. That we already got many novels to read and we do not need more in the name of affidavits. 

15. That the government should provide ‘Affidavit Booths’ in all counties so Kenyans can deposit theirs anytime they want. 

Last: That this truest affidavit is not for litigation purposes whatsoever. 

 Signed.