Mr 4th President, Please, please Do This:

First, hearty congratulations for your election to the most powerful office this part of the continent. Four may not be a fancied lucky number but considering it has taken this country 50 years to have its fourth leader getting congratulated shouldn't be a big deal. Also, in the light of a brutal campaign laced with all sorts of insults and record-breaking pocket drainage, you deserve some pat patting for emerging victorious.

Amidst that Mr President there're these small matters you should pay good amount of attention as you warm your new residence.

a) First, Al Shabab is a real menace. Is it possible you like sort them once and for all? As in creating a planet of sorts and ferrying them there in their whole. Or just do something that would return Nairobi to its former peaceful self. Its residents will certainly appreciate that.

b) Bread. It's expensive. Ten years ago untouched loaf of bread was like sh20 then it could cascade down to like sh5 when touched to its quarter. Nowadays it has more than doubled. It's hugging prices such as sh45 and above. Sugar, unga, rice, name them have been infected with the same doubling bug. It's a worrying trend. Will you do something about this expensive trend Mr Fourth President? 

c) Free stuff? No. Give us quality stuff. The outgoing gave free education. Kenyans thank him. They only mourn quality. The 2nd gave them free milk. They drank in the spirit of Nyayo and forgot to read. They only went to school for milk which they consumed and forgot to challenge the regime. The milk donator ruled for 24 years when milk was getting drank enmasse for 24 hours. Mr Fourth President Kenyans don’t need free things give them quality, more beneficial stuff in the long term. 

d) And the small matter of jobs. Instead of, for instance, promising free university education which might not be possible, shouldn't you provide some easier way for the huge number of unemployed graduates to get jobs? Free education yet hug joblessness for ages after may not be a tasty bait, or is it?

e) Please talk to Kenyans. Your predecessors adopted a rather super silent mode or abrasive response to national issues. Will you promise not to go either way, will you? Kenyans need a jovial president who will lit up their souls when trouble hits not a dark-faced sulking leader who will inject more pain into their hearts. Addressing them more often shouldn't be a major problem after all they voted for you forthwith giving you the job. As their employee they need at least monthly briefs from you.

f) Please appoint qualified cabinet secretaries. Your predecessors were so drunk with rewarding their cronies with ministerial appointments. Copy-pasting the same trend will be the most unfortunate thing to happen this Jubilee year. To avoid such tragedies please get on your motorcade or chopper travel around the country and get worthy professionals who will move this country instead of those buddies whose main interest is to add to their wealth. 

Thanks a lot for hearing Kenyans out Mr 4th President.

Kenya's Months in 2012; Saitoti, Michuki, Dark Forces, Tana River...

Trust you had a lovely Christmas. Now Kenya was quite busy this year doing this:


DECEMBER 

You all remember President Kibaki’s monumental address to parliament. That should go down as one of the most-likeable things Kibaki ever did. Then the MPs went overboard to bootlick the head of state in his presence. 

Deputy Prime Minister’s Uhuru Kenyatta’s “dark forces”. Having failed to reach an agreement on the modality to pick Jubilee’s flag bearer Kenyatta was soon out telling his party, TNA, delegates that some dark forces had earlier coerced him into giving the mantle to his fellow DPM Musalia Mudavadi. The latter had earlier unveiled a deal the two signed as acrimony hit the top. 

Also the formation of political coalitions, last minute signing of deals in a rush to beat the deadline. December 3 should go down as the most anxious, confusing, tiring political day for Kenyans. Raila’s Cord and Uhuru’s Jubilee took centre stage.  

  

November

Early in the month 40 plus security officers were downed by cattle rustlers in Baragoi Samburu. That alone sent shivers down the nations spine. President Kibaki asked for military intervention.

Some sort of earthquake strikes Kenya’s media world and the resulting tectonic movement saw some personalities washed elsewhere. 

President Barack Obama reelected. Joy to the United States, Kenya or rather to the world, as the first black US President got another four-year term on November 6.  A photo of him hugging his wife Michelle Obama went viral on the internet. 

October

The crucifixion that started at the Village Market ended this month as Nancy Baraza quit. 

September 

Tana River tribal clashes continued as dozens of residents were killed in revenge attacks. The deadly attacks began in the previous month when at least 50 people were killed in new clashes pitting Pokomo and Orma. 

Everyone was striking. It was the new swagger in town. Teachers, doctors, lecturers, civil servants were demanding better pays.

August

800-metres specialist David Rudisha’s exploits at the London Olympics reached a new high. The 23-year-old broke the race’s world record for the third time in two years and placed himself amongst the world’s icons of athletics. 

Kenya’s self-proclaimed king of bling, Prezzo, came second in the Big Brother 2012 contest. It was the highest feat achieved by a Kenyan so far in the competition worth $300,000.

July

Come baby Come! Fiery former Prime Minister Raila Odinga adviser Miguna Miguna released a book Peeling Back The mask: A Quest for Justice in Kenya that elicited fierce reaction from the PM’s stalwarts. 

Another terrorism height. At least 14 worshippers were killed by attackers who shot and hurled grenades at two churches in Garissa.  It was the highest number of casualties on a single day and capped other previous attacks aimed at churches.  

June

It was this year’s darkest day for Kenya. June 10. About 10am. News trickled in fast that Internal Security minister Prof George Saitoti and his assistant Orwa Ojodeh had been killed in a plane crash at Kibiku area in Ngong forest. The country was plunged into mourning. In total all the Six aboard the helicopter people were killed in the crash. 

The new Finance Minister Njeru Githae gave a new budgetary estimate hitting over one trillion. When he was busy reading the budget some Kenyans on twitter were busy having theirs: the witty but popular #Budgetyamusufferer that attracted lots of hilarious response from #KOT. 

Ms Fatou Bensouda, the Gambian, also got the nod to take over from retiring Luis Moreno-Ocampo as the International Criminal Court’s Chief Prosecutor. Four Kenyans sent to trial at the Court got another prosecutor. 

May

What happened in May? Don’t seem to find anything worth a mention.

April

The Judges and Magistrates Vetting Board sent the first bunch of unfit judges packing. That light at the end of the judiciary-reforms’ tunnel began to glow. The president of the Court of Appeal Riaga Omollo, Appellate judges Samuel Bosire, Emmanuel O’Kubasu and Joseph Nyamu were declared unfit to continue serving.

March

Kenya joined the big boys. Those boys bossing the world with their rare indispensable commodity—oil. Although it’s yet to be known whether the discovery in Turkana could be commercially viable, President Kibaki made the announcement sparking enthusiasm among Kenyans.

February

Environment Minister John Michuki died. The no nonsense minister was well known for Michuki Rules, the stringent traffic rules he marshaled when he was the Transport minister in 2004.

Few days after the minister’s death, another of President Kibaki’s stalwarts, tycoon Njenga Karume succumbed to illness. 

No one expected Zambia to lift the African Cup of Nations. But in style, against all expectations, went on to win it in a penalty shoot-out against football powerhouse Ivory Coast. The Zambians lifted the Trophy in the host nation, Gabon, a country bearing its worst memories after the 1994 Chipolopolo squad was killed in a plane crash off the coast of the 2012 co-host. 

JANUARY 

The Ocampo Six is reduced to Four after Henry Kosgey and Major Gen Hussein Ali were acquitted by the International Criminal Court’s pre-trial chamber. 

When the New Year was breaking the judiciary’s second-in-command Nancy Baraza was boiling her career. An incident involving her and a guard in the Village Market on the eve of the year got to the media giving birth to a national uproar and subsequently her suspension and investigation. 

Have a blessed New Year. May it come with a full plate of blessings. Thanks for reading this blog in 2012.